I increasingly think that us middle aged women are the blooming heroes ! Your piece was really moving and resonated a lot with me. I have a son with ASD and now have a finely tuned radar for neurodiversity and, like you, see the massive positives that it brings, but share your frustration with the challenges.
Please keep your articles coming - I think they put into words so much that we can all relate to! And those skills of yours are absolutely CV-worthy! xxx
Thank you so much Rachel. I’m so glad it has resonated with you, and many others who’ve contacted me directly. Many of us are juggling these kind of challenges, so hearing from each other is so important. Its easy to moan about them, but I thought it good to focus on the good that has come out of this so far.
I'm having one of those "separated at birth?" ... or at maybe "separated at caregiving?" ... moments. I have and am experiencing many echoes of your story ... and writing about them at Sandwich Season. In fact I'm having a particularly sandwich-y week here, so will run for now, but looking forward to reading more from you! (And thank you to @Victoria for alerting me to your Stack!)
Oh how wonderful to meet you Sarah! My caring twin! When I get a mo later today or tomorrow I'll check out your posts - full of cold right now so can't think straight. Will DM you too x
This is really moving Siobhan. So overwhelming what you have had to deal with day to day, but to have the ability to see the positive through this shows such a strength of character. But having said that it also feels so familiar - the woman at the centre of it all holding all the threads together. But having that time with your mother must be so rewarding. I do wish I spent more time with my mother - listening to her stories and making memories. Lovely.
Thank you so much Lily for your kind and thoughtful words. So appreciate this. Tbh it’s a choice to look for the jam, as it’s the healthiest mindset, but on some days it’s far from easy. The constant distraction away from writing or work is probably the biggest killer for me.
Love the image of me at the centre of it all holding all the threads - I need my illustrator daughter to illustrate that for me to be my avatar!
Thank you for sharing this piece Siobhan. You are incredible for the (definitely cv worthy) work you do! It resonates with me so much especially this week. I have caught myself moaning an awful lot lately, my creative spark feeling suffocated by immediate care needs of others. And it’s nothing compared to what you are holding. I struggle knowing how to support my own mother who cares for my gran whilst her Alzheimer’s presents immense challenges, and I navigate poorly understood neurodiversity which people close to me live with. This week my mother in law came home from hospital after a hip operation and, as she is a full time carer for her brother who is entirely blind, it falls to myself and my husband to be caring for them both around our attempts to work. I don’t have children and lately the prospect has scared me because sometimes it all already feels just too much that the thought is overwhelming. Your piece reminds me that there is SO much blessing too in all the apparent burden. I might have become a little fatigued lately being pulled in many directions, however I believe we are meant to live in community and I am so lucky to be close to my family, and live in a place where neighbours constantly check in on one another or drop off cake or flowers and if I needed them they would be there. It’s beautiful and your piece is a stark reminder to focus on the jam in my own different sort of sandwich 🤍
Wow Carina it sounds like you have SO much on your plate too, never apologise for moaning as we all do that at various times, myself included, for sure! And I’m so glad you’ve found this useful.
It’s the pull away from creativity that gets me down the most too, so I am fully with you. It’s only over time that I’ve been able to see the jam, to stand back and reflect. And it’s a choice to see the jam, for sure.
I hope it’s only short term care that you’ll have to give? It sounds to me like your MIL and brother need state supported carers or private carers, at least for some of the time? Make sure you look into that, so you’re not sucked into daily practical caring for too long. That’s a head bender for sure.
It sounds like I need to keep writing about this theme! Hang in there, and take care x
Thanks Siobhan, I feel like we must protect our creative spaces as much as humanly possible, as you say that is often the most challenging repercussion of being pulled in various directions!
I honestly have only had to provide very minimal contribution towards my MIL and her brother’s recent care. They are fiercely independent and capable and it has only been due to back to back hip operations for each of them that has required us to step in a little.
Hope you are finding some space and creativity this week x
I increasingly think that us middle aged women are the blooming heroes ! Your piece was really moving and resonated a lot with me. I have a son with ASD and now have a finely tuned radar for neurodiversity and, like you, see the massive positives that it brings, but share your frustration with the challenges.
Please keep your articles coming - I think they put into words so much that we can all relate to! And those skills of yours are absolutely CV-worthy! xxx
Thank you so much Rachel. I’m so glad it has resonated with you, and many others who’ve contacted me directly. Many of us are juggling these kind of challenges, so hearing from each other is so important. Its easy to moan about them, but I thought it good to focus on the good that has come out of this so far.
I'm having one of those "separated at birth?" ... or at maybe "separated at caregiving?" ... moments. I have and am experiencing many echoes of your story ... and writing about them at Sandwich Season. In fact I'm having a particularly sandwich-y week here, so will run for now, but looking forward to reading more from you! (And thank you to @Victoria for alerting me to your Stack!)
Oh how wonderful to meet you Sarah! My caring twin! When I get a mo later today or tomorrow I'll check out your posts - full of cold right now so can't think straight. Will DM you too x
Aw, feel better, Siobhan -- "my caring twin"!
This is really moving Siobhan. So overwhelming what you have had to deal with day to day, but to have the ability to see the positive through this shows such a strength of character. But having said that it also feels so familiar - the woman at the centre of it all holding all the threads together. But having that time with your mother must be so rewarding. I do wish I spent more time with my mother - listening to her stories and making memories. Lovely.
Thank you so much Lily for your kind and thoughtful words. So appreciate this. Tbh it’s a choice to look for the jam, as it’s the healthiest mindset, but on some days it’s far from easy. The constant distraction away from writing or work is probably the biggest killer for me.
Love the image of me at the centre of it all holding all the threads - I need my illustrator daughter to illustrate that for me to be my avatar!
Thank you for sharing this piece Siobhan. You are incredible for the (definitely cv worthy) work you do! It resonates with me so much especially this week. I have caught myself moaning an awful lot lately, my creative spark feeling suffocated by immediate care needs of others. And it’s nothing compared to what you are holding. I struggle knowing how to support my own mother who cares for my gran whilst her Alzheimer’s presents immense challenges, and I navigate poorly understood neurodiversity which people close to me live with. This week my mother in law came home from hospital after a hip operation and, as she is a full time carer for her brother who is entirely blind, it falls to myself and my husband to be caring for them both around our attempts to work. I don’t have children and lately the prospect has scared me because sometimes it all already feels just too much that the thought is overwhelming. Your piece reminds me that there is SO much blessing too in all the apparent burden. I might have become a little fatigued lately being pulled in many directions, however I believe we are meant to live in community and I am so lucky to be close to my family, and live in a place where neighbours constantly check in on one another or drop off cake or flowers and if I needed them they would be there. It’s beautiful and your piece is a stark reminder to focus on the jam in my own different sort of sandwich 🤍
Wow Carina it sounds like you have SO much on your plate too, never apologise for moaning as we all do that at various times, myself included, for sure! And I’m so glad you’ve found this useful.
It’s the pull away from creativity that gets me down the most too, so I am fully with you. It’s only over time that I’ve been able to see the jam, to stand back and reflect. And it’s a choice to see the jam, for sure.
I hope it’s only short term care that you’ll have to give? It sounds to me like your MIL and brother need state supported carers or private carers, at least for some of the time? Make sure you look into that, so you’re not sucked into daily practical caring for too long. That’s a head bender for sure.
It sounds like I need to keep writing about this theme! Hang in there, and take care x
Thanks Siobhan, I feel like we must protect our creative spaces as much as humanly possible, as you say that is often the most challenging repercussion of being pulled in various directions!
I honestly have only had to provide very minimal contribution towards my MIL and her brother’s recent care. They are fiercely independent and capable and it has only been due to back to back hip operations for each of them that has required us to step in a little.
Hope you are finding some space and creativity this week x